March 25, 2009

Installing a Husband


Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5..0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
.. Romance 9.5 and
. Personal Attention 6.5, 

and then installed undesirable programs such as

. NBA 5.0,
. NFL 3.0 and
. Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.




DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind,
. Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
. Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
. If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
. Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend  Cooking 3.0 and  Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support 


Posted on 03/25/2009 4:52 PM Comments (12)

March 6, 2009

We're Calling the Kitty "Joan"

Last night our visiting, pregnant kitty spent the night indoors with us for the first time.  When she first started coming around, she was very shy and would run from us if we talked to her.  Food lured her closer and she was soon letting us pet her.  Now she is very spoiled and wants nearly constant attention, even jumps up on our laps and stays there for a while.

We have no idea when her babies are due, but we have a couple of places set up for her, and I hope she chooses one rather than surprising us by giving birth somewhere else in the apartment (and my past history with cats tells me that's exactly what will happen!).

For the most part she is a very quiet (albeit verbal), attention-seeking cat who is not interested in playing (I've teased her with yarn and the laser pen and she totally ignores them).

That's the good side of the kitty.

Every once in a while, as you reach down to pet her, she hisses, shows her teeth and swats with claws extended from both front paws.  I've had quite a few scratches from her doing this!  Then, seconds later she will be all sweet again.

We have decided to call her "Joan".  Or "Kitty Dearest".  Did you ever see the movie "Mommie Dearest"?

Posted on 03/06/2009 6:35 AM Comments (13)
ARCHIVE
Geeesh what next?
Fun Day. NOT
Erik is here in spirit and in our hearts.
MY FRIENDS


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